Chapter 5 (Cont.)
24 years later, I no longer remember what was the factual of the surrounding events. But the bar event, at first was only joyous. Off tapping into a vendor of my old world nostalgia, somewhere I existed only for 2 years. Somewhere I existed only as a baby. Nonetheless, somewhere that I felt like I always belonged. I don't belong in the new world. It shouldn't have been like this. Yet I cannot question God's decision on which phase of mankind He had destined for me. I cannot be so entitled to say that God should have halted the events surrounding the nuclear annihilation for a longer. Maybe even when I'm unjustifiably unfair. Such as: "God, let me live my whole life in the Earth not destroyed by warheads". "God, let me pass my middle school here". Or even: "God, let me be here before I can wonder upon the beauty of sunsets in rural Massachusetts". Even that, would be unjustified. The course of humanity doesn't revolve around me. But never in my life, I felt like I belonged in the New World Federation. But it was just a distant nostalgia. After my birth, I spent two years in the Massachusetts mansion. I was an infant. I could not have remembered any memory of being alive in the old world. Yet it is factual that I have breathed in that timeline. This same body. As someone gaining consciousness in the new world, then learning that they were born in the old world, I had a fascination for the my past. The past that I over the years held as my true identity. Yet, the memory vacuum causes there to be no innate reaction towards the nostalgia of an old world. For people being of full consciousness in the old world, the shift was astronomical.
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Melancholia Mk. 2 I / Usher II